Application to Date My Mom

1.  Name _____________________________________  I don't really care, but she might.

2.  Occupation __________________________________  All I really want to know is if you are able to keep me in the manner to which I have become acustomed.  Can you supply the nip man??

3.  Do you have or are you planning on getting any pets?  If you do have pets, what are they?  Most importantly, my Mom wants a dog.  Are you o.k. with that? (I am NOT o.k. with that.) ______________________________________________________________________
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4. K.I.D.S.  I like them, from a distance.  I love it when TAFKAP pets me, he's very gentle.  I love to snuggle with Hannah, she is very gentle and kind.  Ashlyn is o.k.  but that child they call Tater scares the heck out of me.  Do you have any of those things, and if you do, would they leave me alone?  I only like them when I like them.....otherwise I might bite. _____________________________________________________________________
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5.  Can you understand that I am not "OH look at the cute kitty?"  I will come to you if and when I choose, not the other way around.  If you rough me up you will get bitten.  Got it?  ____

6.  Do you have any treats man?  That lady wont get me any because she says I'm too fluffy.
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7.  She also wants to change my food, are you in favor of this decision?
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8.  Would you agree to try and convince her to leave the damn seat up on the toilet.  I like to take a sip from time to time and it freaks her out.
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9.  Oh yeah, I guess I should ask if you will be good to her.....she kind of deserves it.

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Lazy Summer Days

I have been here for more than six months now, and I've known Mom for a little over a year actually.  Last summer I went to live at Papa's house, but it was kind of a scary time for me.  There were new surroundings to get used to, that damn dog, and of course living with Papa is always interesting.....  Plus dealing with my owner just leaving me like that and never coming back.  I did settle into a routine, but spent a lot of time hiding behind the freezer. 

This summer I am enjoying living in the lap of luxury.  My Mom really "gets" who I am, and we bash along together just fine.  I let her brush me now, and don't tell anyone, but I even let her pet my belly.  I love her so much that I even try to groom her sometimes.  She's so nice that she doesn't even kill the flies when they get in, she leaves them for me. Mua ha ha!  She picks up the little bits of the box of anger, without too many dirty looks shot in my direction.  I don't bite on it very much these days.

We had one bump in the road a few weeks ago.  Mom almost got a dog.  That big oaf was lucky I was under the comforter when he nudged me.  Just who the heck did he think he was???  Well, he went home to his own people, and Mom and I are just fine without him.  So there.

I see Papa from time to time, but am kind of missing that old smelly dog, what's her name......  Mom was kind of irritated with me, because I make her earn every piece of affection she gets, but Papa just scoops me up like a baby and I let him pet my belly without any fuss.  *sigh*  I can't help it.  He's just a lovable guy.  Now that I don't have to depend on him to feed me. :)

I think that I am probably five years old now.  When I met Mom a few years ago on Thanksgiving, she thinks I was three.  She thinks that today would be a good day for a birthday, so today it is.  Whatever that means.........