Monday, August 8, 2011

Application to Date My Mom

1.  Name _____________________________________  I don't really care, but she might.

2.  Occupation __________________________________  All I really want to know is if you are able to keep me in the manner to which I have become acustomed.  Can you supply the nip man??

3.  Do you have or are you planning on getting any pets?  If you do have pets, what are they?  Most importantly, my Mom wants a dog.  Are you o.k. with that? (I am NOT o.k. with that.) ______________________________________________________________________
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4. K.I.D.S.  I like them, from a distance.  I love it when TAFKAP pets me, he's very gentle.  I love to snuggle with Hannah, she is very gentle and kind.  Ashlyn is o.k.  but that child they call Tater scares the heck out of me.  Do you have any of those things, and if you do, would they leave me alone?  I only like them when I like them.....otherwise I might bite. _____________________________________________________________________
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5.  Can you understand that I am not "OH look at the cute kitty?"  I will come to you if and when I choose, not the other way around.  If you rough me up you will get bitten.  Got it?  ____

6.  Do you have any treats man?  That lady wont get me any because she says I'm too fluffy.
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7.  She also wants to change my food, are you in favor of this decision?
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8.  Would you agree to try and convince her to leave the damn seat up on the toilet.  I like to take a sip from time to time and it freaks her out.
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9.  Oh yeah, I guess I should ask if you will be good to her.....she kind of deserves it.

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